The Joy of Being My Father’s Passenger
Earlier this week I joined my dad for a quick trip to Kentucky to pick up the daughter of a Romanian friend of Dad’s, who is in college and who is heading home to Romania for Christmas. I asked if I could ride along because I wanted the time with my dad.
The ride down was very pleasant. We’ve made our way through the phase in my life where I needed to exert myself to discover myself, or where either of us worked too hard to reach agreement on many things. Today, he’s someone who loves me incredibly, who has seen me for my whole life, and who is just a grown up boy himself. I’m very grateful that we’ve been given the time to work our way to this place – not all fathers and sons are afforded such a luxury.
The ride back was even better for me. I took the back seat, giving Laura the Romanian college student the front seat, and made a point of enjoying the fact that my dad was driving, and all I needed to do was rest in his protection.
It’s weird – I live in such an independence-oriented culture, and spent my youth chomping at the bit for independence from my family, and lately nothing is better to me than finding places of rest while I let love drive.
I’ve been doing a “Bible read through” since September, and the theme that’s really caught me has to do with hospitality, protection and the honor of both the person who offers hospitality, and the dignity of receiving and submitting to it.
Ultimately, the love between the Father and the Son creates an embrace into which we are invited. This is the ultimate hospitality – the ultimate protection inspiring the ultimate honoring response from those who receive their rest in the Lord. But such grand theological truths are hard to see in day to day terms. Along the way the glimpses of God’s hospitality look a lot like submitting to authority (authority bears the burden and accountability for the hospitality it offers), protecting and trusting safe places in relationships, and choosing justice in the world.
On Thursday, in my world, it looked like my dad in the rear view mirror, vigilant and offering me a safe place, while enjoying having me along to spend time with him.
I don’t know about you, but there are many times where the burden of life, the weight of being responsible for my world and my relationships, leave me feeling a bit unprotected. Tired. Like I need to provide shelter, and sometimes like there is little shelter for me to rest in. For the most part, I find a great joy in the burden – something about the obligation feels tied to my identity as a man, and I know that I love driving while my wife sleeps, or in other ways bearing the burden of protection for her. There simply aren’t very many places for me to rest.
As I read Scripture, though, I see how deeply God longs to be my strong tower, my refuge, my protector and my rest. I’ve been testing it and loving it. And as I find that safe protection in my prayers and reading, I have begun finding it in worship, in community, and in new ways in my marriage.
But the easiest place will probably always be to rest in the safety my dad offers me, if I will let him.
I took this picture while I was thinking about the gift my dad’s love was providing me. About five minutes later, he asked if I’d like to drive for a while. We traded seats, and he fell asleep. I drove carefully, evenly, and let him rest.
It was the best I’ve loved him – loved the boy who grew to be my dad and who has very few safe places to rest himself – in my life.
